What is rebuilding?

Welcome back to Decentering Me, a space where I help women move out of their own way so they can build a life they genuinely want to show up for.

Today, we’re talking about the second phase of the decentering journey: rebuilding. In the last post, we explored decentering. This is post two of that series .

What Is Rebuilding?

If decentering is about awareness, rebuilding is about stability.

Rebuilding is creating stability

Rebuilding is the intentional act of creating stability, structure, and supportive habits that align with the life you want to live.

If decentering is the mindset shift, rebuilding is the action that follows. This is where the work really happens.

Rebuilding is living in the in-between

Rebuilding is the in-between season — the space between who you were and who you’re becoming. It often feels like limbo. The ground beneath you can feel unstable, and you may feel pulled in a thousand directions at once.

You’re changing identities. You’re learning new ways of thinking, behaving, and moving through the world. And while that can be unsettling, it’s also creative, hopeful, and full of possibility.

Rebuilding is practical

This is where you put daily systems in place — routines, habits, and rhythms that bring order to your life. It can feel boring or monotonous, especially if your nervous system is used to chaos. But boredom here is not a bad sign — it’s regulation.

Rebuilding is foundational

You can’t move into the next phase without it. This is the hardest part of the journey, but it’s also the most necessary. Without a foundation, there’s nothing to build on.

Rebuilding is moving out of survival mode (slowly)

That process happens in layers, and it’s sneakier than we expect. But when you begin to feel safe again — when life starts to feel steady — there’s a deep sense of coming home to yourself.

What Rebuilding Is Not

Rebuilding is not instant transformation.

Growth is not linear. You’ll have highs and lows, progress and setbacks. That doesn’t mean you’re failing — it means you’re human.

Rebuilding is not having everything figured out.

You don’t need the full plan. You just need the next step. Clarity comes through movement, not perfection.

Rebuilding is not erasing the past.

Your past matters. It holds lessons, wisdom, and experiences that can serve both you and others. Growth doesn’t require forgetting — it requires integrating.

rebuilding is not about proving anything

If you’re competing at all, let it be with the version of yourself you were yesterday — not anyone else.

What Rebuilding Looked Like for Me

After decentering began with my hair, rebuilding showed up in practical ways.

I changed my wardrobe — not to impress anyone, but because I was tired of hiding. I started working out to help manage my depression, and discovered that I actually enjoyed it.

I set a weekly social goal. As an introvert with social anxiety, this was terrifying. But I started small — saying hello, initiating brief conversations — and slowly built connection.

I began volunteering. Showing up consistently led to relationships, purpose, and a fuller life than I had when I started.

Each step led naturally to the next. One decision opened the door to another. And before I knew it, my life felt fuller — not perfect, but alive.

That’s what rebuilding does.

How to Start Your Rebuilding Journey With Intention

Your rebuilding journey doesn’t have to look like mine. Take what fits, tweak what doesn’t, and trash the rest.

Change something about your appearance.

Something small but intentional — a new accessory, hairstyle, outfit, scent, or self-care ritual. Choose something that feels good to you.

Get out of your comfort zone.

Growth requires discomfort. Say hello. Take a new route. Try something different. It doesn’t have to be dramatic — it just has to be intentional.

Set a small weekly goal.

Choose something manageable that nudges you forward. Consistency matters more than intensity.

Release pressure and give yourself grace.

You don’t need perfection — you need presence. Consistency means showing up more often than not.

Final Thoughts

If you find yourself in the rebuilding phase, know this: it’s a special place. It may not be glamorous, but it’s powerful. This is where stability is created and futures are built.

This journey is ongoing. It’s lived out loud and sometimes in the wild. But your future self — and mine — will thank us for continuing to show up.

So I’ll ask you the same question I ask at the end of every episode:

Are you going to show up today?